Sunday, December 25, 2011

Magazine Madness: Third Time's A Charm!

As January rolls around, we've come to expect that women's magazines will present us with their latest and greatest diet and weight tips. Playing on the insecurities of their readers, a brand new year brings promises to fix our bodies once and for all. For the past two years, I've channeled my disgust at these ridiculous headlines into editing them with a good dose of humor. It's become a playful tradition for me, so when I found myself at the drugstore last week, I headed over to the magazine section, pen and paper in hand.

This year’s selection of headlines didn’t disappoint. The usual insidious messages still bombard us with their focus on weight loss. But I did notice there weren’t quite as many as last year – and that there were even some changes for the better. It made me wonder if we're all doing such a good job of calling out the diet industry - or as my colleague Deb Burgard has renamed it, the weight cycling industry - that the outrageous promises for weight lost of past years are less believable or acceptable. So here we go with the good, the bad and the ugly (but not necessarily in that order!)


Drop 10 lbs This Month - Our Simplest Plan To Get The Body You've Always Wanted

My Edit:

Drop 10 lbs This Month: Gain Back Fifteen Pounds Next Month (What's Simple Is The Math...)


Blast Fat Fast (in only 10 minutes)

My Edit:

Have A Blast (Slow Down and Enjoy Your Life)


Get To Your Show-Off Weight Fast

My Edit:

You’re At Your Show-Off Weight Now…If You Choose To Show Off!

First (for Women)

Dr. Oz’s Extreme Weight Loss. News! A Fruit Fiber Melts Stubborn Fat & Sweeps Cholesterol Out Of The Body. Merril Lost 196 Pounds.

My Edit:

Dr. Oz’s Weight Loss Advice is Extreme – No News There! Take the focus off of weight, practice healthful behaviors (fiber can have a positive effect on cholesterol). Merril Gained Her Self-Esteem


(sexier by Saturday) Lose Two Pounds This Week

My Edit:

(sexier by Saturday) Lose Your Inhibitions and Move With Attitude!

Women’s Health:

Fight Fat (And Win!) Melt Pounds And Trim Inches In Minutes A Day

My Edit:

Stop Fighting Fat (We’re all Winners!) Melt Away Your Self- Criticism And Add Compassion For Minutes A Day

Woman’s Day

Look and Feel Your Best: Burn 200 Calories In 10 Minutes; Erase Wrinkles And Dark Circles

My Edit:

Look And Feel Your Best: Stop Worrying About Calories And You’ll Erase The Stress Wherever You Feel It In Your Body

That pretty much covers the bad and the ugly. Now for the good:


Mega Makeover Issue: Whoa! Sexy Haircut: And It Works On Every One

My Edit:

Whoa! Sexy Haircut: And It Works On Every One - Way to go, Allure!

And my favorite 2012 headline that moves us away from the shame and blame game:

Good Housekeeping:

(Paula [Dean] Says) My Kitchen Is A MESS Y’All. Not Anymore. See Our Amazing Makeover

If we can talk about making over kitchens - rather than people - we’re going to be okay in 2012!

Wishing you a nourishing and peaceful year, at every shape and size.

Eat well! Live well! Be well!



Bill Fabrey said...

Not necessarily from this year's newsstand, but I have seen something like it many times:

"Lose 20 lbs of ugly fat in 20 days!"

I would prefer that it would be:

"Lose that ugly attitude in 20 days"

Also: Apart from attention-grabbing headlines, the pictures are as powerful as 1000 words, they say. Just once, I would like to see a smiling, happy "before" picture and it would be really nice if the "after" pictures of a recently-smaller woman never included a man looking approvingly over her shoulder... Well, I can wish, can't I?

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