Magazine Madness: Third Time's A Charm!

As January rolls around, we've come to expect that women's magazines will present us with their latest and greatest diet and weight tips. Playing on the insecurities of their readers, a brand new year brings promises to fix our bodies once and for all. For the past two years, I've channeled my disgust at these ridiculous headlines into editing them with a good dose of humor. It's become a playful tradition for me, so when I found myself at the drugstore last week, I headed over to the magazine section, pen and paper in hand.

This year’s selection of headlines didn’t disappoint. The usual insidious messages still bombard us with their focus on weight loss. But I did notice there weren’t quite as many as last year – and that there were even some changes for the better. It made me wonder if we're all doing such a good job of calling out the diet industry - or as my colleague Deb Burgard has renamed it, the weight cycling industry - that the outrageous promises for weight lost of past years are less believable or acceptable. So here we go with the good, the bad and the ugly (but not necessarily in that order!)

Fitness:

Drop 10 lbs This Month - Our Simplest Plan To Get The Body You've Always Wanted

My Edit:

Drop 10 lbs This Month: Gain Back Fifteen Pounds Next Month (What's Simple Is The Math...)

Shape:

Blast Fat Fast (in only 10 minutes)

My Edit:

Have A Blast (Slow Down and Enjoy Your Life)

Glamour:

Get To Your Show-Off Weight Fast

My Edit:

You’re At Your Show-Off Weight Now…If You Choose To Show Off!

First (for Women)

Dr. Oz’s Extreme Weight Loss. News! A Fruit Fiber Melts Stubborn Fat & Sweeps Cholesterol Out Of The Body. Merril Lost 196 Pounds.

My Edit:

Dr. Oz’s Weight Loss Advice is Extreme – No News There! Take the focus off of weight, practice healthful behaviors (fiber can have a positive effect on cholesterol). Merril Gained Her Self-Esteem

Self:

(sexier by Saturday) Lose Two Pounds This Week

My Edit:

(sexier by Saturday) Lose Your Inhibitions and Move With Attitude!

Women’s Health:

Fight Fat (And Win!) Melt Pounds And Trim Inches In Minutes A Day

My Edit:

Stop Fighting Fat (We’re all Winners!) Melt Away Your Self- Criticism And Add Compassion For Minutes A Day

Woman’s Day

Look and Feel Your Best: Burn 200 Calories In 10 Minutes; Erase Wrinkles And Dark Circles

My Edit:

Look And Feel Your Best: Stop Worrying About Calories And You’ll Erase The Stress Wherever You Feel It In Your Body

That pretty much covers the bad and the ugly. Now for the good:

Allure:

Mega Makeover Issue: Whoa! Sexy Haircut: And It Works On Every One

My Edit:

Whoa! Sexy Haircut: And It Works On Every One - Way to go, Allure!

And my favorite 2012 headline that moves us away from the shame and blame game:

Good Housekeeping:

(Paula [Dean] Says) My Kitchen Is A MESS Y’All. Not Anymore. See Our Amazing Makeover

If we can talk about making over kitchens - rather than people - we’re going to be okay in 2012!

Wishing you a nourishing and peaceful year, at every shape and size.

Eat well! Live well! Be well!

Judith

MAGAZINE MADNESS - TAKE TWO

Last year, I had a lot of fun taking all of the January magazine headlines that promise weight loss in the new year, and editing them to add a little humor. After all, this is a particularly trying time for people letting go of the diet mentality and shame about body size. I got lots of great feedback and several suggestions to make this an annual event.

Now that we're a week into January, you've undoubtedly seen the bombardment of tips to create a new and better you in 2011. I also wish you a year that's nourishing and joyful...but living a full and satisfying life just doesn't come from hating your body.

I made my annual trip to the newsstand yesterday. This year, there were a few magazines that seemed to stay away from diet and weight loss tips - could it be that they're finally getting it? But alas, there were still plenty to choose from - I offer them to you with the same suggestions from last year:

• First, take a deep breath. And now another one.
• Remember that if any of them really worked, they wouldn't need to keep coming up with more.
• Finally, a little humor always helps. With that in mind, here is my attempt at rewriting some of my "favorites."

People Magazine:

Half Their Size: How They Did It

My Edit:

Full Of Themselves: What They Did To Promote Compassion In The World

Shape

Drop 10 Pounds by Feb. 1

My Edit:

Drop 10 Pounds by Feb 1: Gain Back 15 Pounds by March 1

Allure:

I Lost 107 Pounds...For Good: One Woman's Diet Victory

My edits:

I Lost 107 Pounds...For Good: One Woman's (And We Mean ONLY One Woman's) Diet Victory (The Other 2, 167, 682 Women Gained It All Back...)

or

I Lost 107 Pounds...As Of Eight Months After My Diet. Check Back With Me Next Year At This Time

or

I Lost 107 Pounds...For Good: I Know This Because I'm Psychic And Can Predict The Future

Self:

Lose Weight Without Trying: Your Weight Loss Grocery List (Yep, Chocolate's On It)

My Edit:

Stop Trying To Lose Weight: Develop A Nourishing Grocery List (Yep, Chocolate's On It)

Fitness

Drop 2 Dress Sizes In Just 4 Weeks

My Edit:

Did You Drop 2 Dress Sizes In Just 4 Weeks? You May Have An Eating Disorder

O Magazine:

Weight Loss Made Simple: The Only Tip You'll Ever Need (p. 126)

My Edit: Weight Loss Made Simple: Don't Diet!*

(* I saw this cover online, so for all I know, the tip on p. 126 really is: Don't Diet...)

Marie Claire:

Another Year, Another Diet: How To Really Lose Those Last 5 lbs.

My Edit:

Another Year, Another Diet: Because Your Diet From Last Year Failed You Once Again. How To Make Peace With Food And Your Body

GQ ((yes, men were included too this year...)

A Man's Guide To Dropping The Last (And Hardest) Ten Pounds

My Edit:

That's what she said! Ouch!!!

(for those of you who are fans of The Office)

Glamour (kudos for not suggesting anything weight and diet related, but no harm in making it size friendlier too :)

10 Signs That You're Amazing In Bed

My Edit:

10 Signs That You're Amazing In Bed: At Any Size

Have some New Year's fun too and add your own headlines and edits in the comment section of this entry for all to see. Also, feel free to repost/tweet this link.

Until next year,

Eat well! Live well! Be well!

(And avoid toxic magazine messages)

Judith

HAVE WE GONE BANANAS?

I was at the grocery store the other day, making my way through the produce aisle. I'm not much of a fruit eater, but I happen to love bananas! Usually around mid-morning, a banana hits the spot for me in taste, texture, and satisfaction. I like them to be more yellow than green, but definitely not too soft. So in order to get the ripeness I like, I buy some every 3 0r 4 days.

As I grabbed the bunch of bananas that looked just right, I noticed a green sticker on one of the bananas, in addition to the usual Dole label. It read: Lose Weight. See dolebananadiet.com

Oy vey! Does everything need to become a diet food? I don't know about you, but the minute I'm told that I should eat something because it will help me lose weight, I'm pretty turned off. (However, I love bananas enough that I will ignore the sticker and continue my satisfying relationship with this delicious fruit...)

When I got home, I decided to pay a visit to the banana diet website. Here's what I read:

The original Morning Banana Diet was created by an Osaka pharmacist to help her husband lose weight. By following the simple plan, he dropped 38 pounds. Word spread like wildfire and soon stores across Japan couldn’t keep bananas on the shelves.

Now, Americans are joining the bandwagon, losing weight and enjoying the benefits of increased fruit consumption.

As a leader in nutrition education, DOLE wanted to create a healthier banana diet that substitutes well-balanced meals and nutritious recipes for the “all you can eat” approach.

Explore the Recipes section for two weeks of healthy and low-calorie recipes for the Dole Banana Diet!

Next, I clicked on their two week diet menus. So, here's the magic bullet: Start every morning with two Dole bananas (do they have to be Dole or will Chiquita work as well?) The rest of the day involves lots more varieties of Dole fruits (Dole fruit cups, Dole raisins) snacks that consist of Dole red peppers and Dole broccoli (do I detect a pattern here?) and some small amounts of protein. No fat anywhere in sight. A total of about 1,200 calories per day if you follow their menus. How do you spell H.U.N.G.R.Y.?!!!

Dole is not alone in using the marketing tactic of promising weight loss to sell their product. While I was thinking about writing this blog, a Special K commercial appeared on TV with the tagline: Lose up to 6 pounds in 12 weeks. V8 Juice asked: What's your number? The Dairy Council recommended: Drink more milk to lose weight. And multigrain Cheerios suggested: More grains. Less you.

Have we gone bananas? How is it that every food is now part of the latest diet plan? Actually, the answer is quite simple. If you restrict calories - and all of these advertisements have the caveat that you must combine their product with a low calorie diet and exercise to get results - you will lose weight. Of course they forget to tell you that you will feel deprived, your metabolism will slow way down, and ultimately you will gain back the weight and then some - but that wouldn't help their sales. And I guess some of us just want to believe.

Here is the most outrageous diet promise of the season: Taco Bell now has a spokesperson. If you haven't heard about her yet, Christine lost 54 pounds by eating the "Fresco" items offered at Taco Bell. In their marketing campaign, they refer to this as the Drive-Thru Diet. Before you swallow the whole enchilada, keep in mind that she was limited to 1250 calories a day (about the same as the banana diet). And they are clear that results aren't typical. Did you see that? Results aren't typical!

The truth is that any food could claim to be part of a diet for weight loss. How about:

Chocolate: For a richer, sweeter, thinner you

Potato chips: Enjoy the crunch. Chip off the pounds

Ice Cream: The latest scoop: one bowl a day - and two on sundae - melts the weight away

Just focus on that food, keep your calories under 1250, increase your exercise and voila - another diet plan doomed for failure.

So what is a diet survivor to do? In my last blog entry I talked about avoiding the magazines that sell diet and weight loss messages. But I'm not prepared to avoid all of the foods that are now promoting themselves as weight loss aids. I like milk. I even like Taco Bell. And I love bananas!

Instead, I'll do what I've always done: pay attention to the way a food tastes and how it feels in my body. I'll eat the foods I enjoy and stay away from the ones I don't. I'll remember that no single food is magic, and that variety is the spice of life! And when those weight loss labels are staring me in the face, I'll remind myself that choosing bananas has absolutely nothing to do with my body size, and appreciate the flavor and nutrients they provide.

In fact, I'm going to replace that weight loss mentality with the adorable image I have from my childhood of the banana dancing away as it sang a song - now that's the type of creative marketing we could use a little more of!

Eat well! Live well! Be well!

Judith

Heart

Over this past weekend, I was at an outdoor festival where the band Heart was playing on the main stage. Some of you will remember Heart from the late 1970's through the early 80's - I was surprised by how many songs were familiar to me (Barracuda, Magic Man, Crazy on You). Heart features the Wilson sisters - Ann and Nancy - who were one of the first female rock and roll bands, paving the way for others to come.

It was a beautiful evening, and as Ann belted out her songs, I couldn't help but think how great she sounded and how great she looked on stage. Ann is a larger woman, and as she rocked in her black sequins, I felt her power.

A few days later, I was looking up the name of a song I had forgotten and came across this entry in Wikipedia:

As a child, Ann was teased for her size. She revealed that in the seventies she would starve herself to stay thin. When Heart created a comeback in the mid-eighties, Ann had gained a significant amount of weight. Fearing it would hurt the band's popularity, record company executives and band members began pressuring her to lose weight. In music videos, camera angles and clothes were often used to hide her weight, and more focus was put on her sister Nancy. Ann stated she began suffering from panic attacks due to the stress caused by the negativity surrounding the issue.^[2] She underwent a weight-loss surgery called "adjustable gastric band" in January 2002^[3] after what she calls "a lifelong battle" with her weight.

I felt so sad after reading this brief entry. Here is a woman who has empowered others - what a shame that, according to this information, she has gone through life feeling shame about her body and struggling with the diet/binge cycle.

I hope Ann has been able to make peace with herself. I hope she knows that it is our culture that is wrong - not her. I hope she knows that she hasn't failed diets; diets have failed her. I hope she knows that the deprivation of diets only trigger overeating, and that there is a way to honor her own hunger and be calm around food. I hope she knows that it isn't fair for people to judge her by her weight, and that she can cultivate wellness at any size. I hope she never stops singing.

Eat well! Live well! Be well!

Judith