The New York Times...Almost

Several months ago I had the pleasure of speaking to Mandy Katz, reporter for the New York Times. She was writing an article on "diet cessation," - a term I love and a subject that was a perfect match for The Diet Survivor's Handbook.

After a couple of months of hearing nothing back I assumed that I would not be in the article - I've learned to do the interviews that come my way and then let go (as best as I can) with no expectations.

So imagine my excitement when I came home a few weeks ago to find a message requesting a picture of the cover of The Diet Survivor's Handbook and a picture of myself for the upcoming article. I let myself believe that our book would really be in the NYT, with an opportunity to reach a lot of people. A few days later, I received an e-mail from Mandy for fact checking - not only was she accurate, but I really liked the quote.

In the back of my mind I always knew that until it's in print, anything is possible...but I have to admit that this time, I counted on it. It's really a dream for an author to be in the New York Times...along the lines of getting on the Oprah show (something I also aspire to do!) I let my publicist at Sourcebooks know about our good fortune, my photographer, David Sutton, asked if he could announce it in his newsletter, I added it to our Diet Survivors Group quarterly e-mail (www.dietsurvivors.com/contactus/index.html), and waited for July 2nd to arrive.

Alas, the article lost out to a more urgent topic of the day: vampire chic! I knew that it would be in the Thursday style section, so once again, on July 9th, I checked first thing in the morning...but no article.

I came home yesterday to two emails from the reporter, Mandy Katz. The first said that the article would definitely run today - July 16th. Hooray!!! But then I read the second, which she was kind enough to send me personally. At the last minute, the editor needed to shorten the article, and, unfortunately, I didn't make the cut. That's the way it goes in journalism. I knew it could happen, but still...

As I told Ellen about it, she reminded me of her close calls with her book, Beyond Measure; New Yorker Magazine and Men's Health both planned to use her quotes and mention the book, but it never happened. She also reminded me that as an editor, her friend, Beth, is on the other side, and when there's only so much room on a page, something has to go.

Despite my disappointment, I am thrilled that this article appeared in the New York Times, giving credence to the work of so many who are helping people to stop dieting and feel comfortable in their own skin. I hope you'll check it out at:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/16/health/nutrition/16skin.html?_r=5

(and if you check out the comments, I'm #19!)

Eat well! Live well! Be well!

Judith

Heart

Over this past weekend, I was at an outdoor festival where the band Heart was playing on the main stage. Some of you will remember Heart from the late 1970's through the early 80's - I was surprised by how many songs were familiar to me (Barracuda, Magic Man, Crazy on You). Heart features the Wilson sisters - Ann and Nancy - who were one of the first female rock and roll bands, paving the way for others to come.

It was a beautiful evening, and as Ann belted out her songs, I couldn't help but think how great she sounded and how great she looked on stage. Ann is a larger woman, and as she rocked in her black sequins, I felt her power.

A few days later, I was looking up the name of a song I had forgotten and came across this entry in Wikipedia:

As a child, Ann was teased for her size. She revealed that in the seventies she would starve herself to stay thin. When Heart created a comeback in the mid-eighties, Ann had gained a significant amount of weight. Fearing it would hurt the band's popularity, record company executives and band members began pressuring her to lose weight. In music videos, camera angles and clothes were often used to hide her weight, and more focus was put on her sister Nancy. Ann stated she began suffering from panic attacks due to the stress caused by the negativity surrounding the issue.^[2] She underwent a weight-loss surgery called "adjustable gastric band" in January 2002^[3] after what she calls "a lifelong battle" with her weight.

I felt so sad after reading this brief entry. Here is a woman who has empowered others - what a shame that, according to this information, she has gone through life feeling shame about her body and struggling with the diet/binge cycle.

I hope Ann has been able to make peace with herself. I hope she knows that it is our culture that is wrong - not her. I hope she knows that she hasn't failed diets; diets have failed her. I hope she knows that the deprivation of diets only trigger overeating, and that there is a way to honor her own hunger and be calm around food. I hope she knows that it isn't fair for people to judge her by her weight, and that she can cultivate wellness at any size. I hope she never stops singing.

Eat well! Live well! Be well!

Judith

Are You Addicted To Diets?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why it is so hard for people to let go of diets, even when they understand intellectually that diets don’t work, and they won’t work.

I've always loved the example Ellen uses about a person going to the doctor when they are sick. The doctor says, "I'll give you an antibiotic - there's a 2% to 5 % chance it will work." You may think the odds aren't very good, but decide to give it a try. But, when the antibiotic fails and you go back to the doctor who says, "Well, I have another antibiotic that also has a 2% - 5% of working," what would you do? Try again despite the very poor odds, or find another doctor?!!!

Well, those are the odds of succeeding in a diet.

In the most general sense, an addiction exists when there is an interference with daily life. When I meet with clients who are repeat dieters, one of the most common experiences I hear about is the amount of mental energy that thoughts about dieting, food and weight take up as mental energy. Sometimes concerns about food and weight also lead to avoiding social situations.

Why is it so hard to quit dieting? Here are some of my thoughts:

• Diets are extremely seductive. They promise that if you follow them perfectly, you can have the perfect body and the perfect life. Commercials constantly play upon this theme when they have a person say outright that before the diet, she was miserable, unloved and unsuccessful, but now that she has lost weight, her life has begun again with a new hope: she is now loved and can finally feel good about herself. The magic of diets is like a drug, offering a salve to the difficulties of life.

• Diets give a “high.” Anyone who has been on a diet knows the high that comes when you feel in control. There is a virtuous feeling; you are on top of the world. There is no doubt that this feels good, and therefore, there is a strong wish to repeat it.

• Diets do work in the short-term. To make matters more complicated, there is a sense of relief once the diet begins. Some weight is lost and you feel in control, leaving you truly feeling better. After all, whatever else is bothering you in life feels more manageable when you believe you’ve finally taken charge of your life and yourself. But like any addiction, the good feeling is short-lived. As the diet wears off, weight returns and overeating resumes, leaving you feeling worse, not better.

• The dieter doesn’t know what to do instead. If you spend a good portion of your life on a diet, then you will also spend a good portion of your life going off your diet! If being on a diet is about being in control, then being off the diet is about being out of control. But, being out of control with food never feels good. Therefore, the pull is to get back in control as soon as possible, leading to the next diet. The problem is that when you are addicted to diets, you no longer know how to eat instead.

• We have a culture of enabling. When it comes to addictions such as alcohol and drugs, our culture - made up of family, friends, doctors, mental health professionals and a wealth of written materials - strongly discourages dependence on these substances. The term “enabler” describes someone in a person’s life who actually supports the addiction in some way. When it comes to a dieting addiction, our culture is the biggest enabler of all. With messages coming from health professionals, commercials, magazines, colleagues, family and friends that dieting is a positive way to provide self-care to yourself, it’s no wonder that this is a tough habit to kick. This cultural pressure to diet is constant, but peaks in January as people are encouraged to make New Year’s resolutions to lose weight, and in the spring when societal messages about dieting for bathing suit season abound. In fact, when you decide to quit dieting, you are likely to run into people who think you are doing something destructive.

What the diet survivor knows is that while diets are seductive, attuned eating feels much more satisfying and leads to a more satisfying life. The high of a diet is replaced by a consistent feeling of being in charge of your eating. Instead of the short-term success of dieting, you find ways to deal directly with the issues in your life, so that you feel stronger both physically and psychologically. You shift from the mentality of being on or off a diet to becoming an attuned eater in which you honor your hunger, match what you are hungry for, choosing from a wide variety of foods, and stop when you feel satisfied. You do your best to reject messages in the culture that tell you diets for weight loss are the only way to live your life, and instead, search out people, books, websites and experiences that positively reinforce your decision to give up dieting.

Eat well! Live well! Be well!

Judith